Everything Is Gona Be Ok!

Do you think it's a coincident that a complete stranger opened my eyes to a simple, yet complex word?  A word that's so misused and misunderstood.... LOVE!!

I don't at all believe in coincidences.  I believe God puts specific people in your life for a specific reason.  In the short 28 days of this new year, I've met some pretty amazing people, but this one in particular just touched my soul.  :)

Over the last few months, I've had to really work hard at LOVING myself again for all the things I've done and the people that I've hurt.  Some days it wasn't an easy task, but I had to keep reassuring myself everyday that I AM WORTH IT!  Forgiving yourself is sometimes the hardest thing we face as humans in my opinion.  Once you finally do, though, it's the most FREEING feeling ever! But what good does LOVING MYSELF again do if I'm not spreading it around every place I go?

My life theme is "Make a Stranger Smile"!  I live by it and apply it every where I go, but do people really feel the genuine LOVE that's in my heart by my smile?  People do smile back at me, BUT  I know that behind some of those smiles is a world of hurt.  I know behind some of those smiles there's a world of shame.  I know behind some of those smiles there's a world of fear.  How do I know?  I've been there!

When I go out into the world today,  I ask GOD to allow me to show people true LOVE.  Even though it's very uncomfortable at first to go up to a complete stranger and try to make their day better when you have no idea what's going on in their life!  Sometimes all people need is a simple gesture of a hand shake or a hug and tell them everything's going to be ok! This is something very new to me, but I have high hopes that offering COMPLETE TRUE LOVE to STRANGERS will get easier!

This is the lesson I learned from a complete stranger!! And now no matter what I MUST pay it forward! 

Get Over your FEARS!

IF NOT NOW...WHEN? I want you to SERIOUSLY ask yourself this question! What exactly are you so afraid of? Well get over it!! It's TIME TO FACE YOUR FEARS HEAD ON!  We as humans create our own fears inside our own mind.  The moment you start doubting yourself is the moment YOU get in YOUR OWN WAY!  

Getting SOBER, Getting HEALTHY, Chasing DREAMS aren't getting done because you stop yourself.  You allow negative thoughts to control your outcome.  You are scared to fail.  You are worried about what everyone else thinks.  This is the day to TUNE THE WORLD OUT!  THIS IS THE DAY TO START TAKING CARE OF YOU!  

Did you know that failing at things makes you stronger?   Did you know that if you're failing you're actually trying?  If you keep getting back up and trying eventually you are going to SUCCEED!  Today is the day to QUIT WISHING YOUR LIFE WAS BETTER.  Today is the day to TAKE ACTION! You aren't promised TOMORROW!!  

GOD created us all with GREATNESS!  He didn't intend for us to abuse our bodies in ANY way.  With GOD on your side, when YOU BELIEVE in YOURSELF, and when you surround yourself with PEOPLE THAT UPLIFT YOU on a daily basis....lil babies ANYTHING is POSSIBLE!  If I can do it, SO CAN YOU!  Together we can do this!!

 

19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 

20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Beer...It's what WAS for Supper!

Back in my drinking days, I remember watching the clock just waiting for 5 o'clock so I could go by the store and grab some beer.  The feeling that overcame me is so hard to put into words, but I think it could be best described as a NORMAL woman going on a first date.  I was so excited, yet so anxious, my palms would sweat and my mouth would water.  CRAZY, I know!  I never got like this over men haha, just beer!! Who am I kidding beer was my MAN!! I COULD NOT wait to get my man home.  The first pop of that top was as if my man just whispered sweet nothings in my ear!  AAHHHHH I was floating on CLOUD 9!

While the kiddo was doing homework or playing with the neighbors, me and my man would have quality time outside for about an hour! This time right here is what I woke up for and worked so hard for EVERY SINGLE DAY!  I didn't do well with interruptions, just HAD to have that time to ourselves.  Once our short hour or so was up, I would get up and start cooking supper for me and the kiddo.  Although I love cooking, I hated the fact I ALWAYS had to do the cooking myself.  Sometimes I wanted a real man that could actually help me with some of the household chores, BUT that was only sometimes haha.  

Once I got supper cooked, I would make the kiddo a plate!  I myself would want more time with my beer man, so I would leave her to eating supper by herself and go back outside for more quality time.  She would always ask me, "Are you gona eat mom?"  The answer was the same almost every night, "I'm going to in a little bit!" And by the way, I'm a pretty amazing cook if I do say so myself,  I would take a bite here and there but rarely actually sat down to eat a nice supper with my daughter.  Before I knew it, the time had flown and it was her bed time and pushing my bedtime as well.  Bedtime was a LOVE/HATE thing, cause I didn't want to leave my main squeeze, but I knew I would see him the next day, same exact time, and same exact situation all over again!

Looking back now, I'm not even sure how my body kept going with the lack of nutrients.  I lived on beer!  I did eat normal food during the day, but my goodness, I rarely got any decent food down me during the evening dates with BEER.  Although, I rarely woke up with a hangover, I never woke up feeling refreshed. EVER.  How ignorant I was to think I could live my life like that.  

I am happy to say that I broke up with that "SO CALLED MAN"!  BEER is no longer in my life.  I have now traded him for SHAKEOLOGY and other nutritional meals. I don't replace my suppers for anything anymore because I've learned how to take care of my body,  I can't go back and get those suppers with my daughter I missed, but I can make sure I don't miss anymore because of a temporary "GOOD" feeling.  That "GOOD" feeling I thought I had with my "SO" CALLED MAN"  doesn't hold a candle to the COMPLETENESS I feel now!  My kiddo and I spend more than just suppers together and it's the MOST AMAZING FEELING EVER!!

 It's NEVER too late for you to experience that feeling!  It would be my pleasure to help YOU get on the right nutritional track! 

FAITH...LOVE...BELIEVE

When you start seeing the DOTS of LIFE connecting after traveling down a deep, dark, well worn path, man oh man, the feeling inside is very powerful and indescribable.  Following your heart is something so many people are too fearful to do, but is so very NECESSARY to do to completely fulfill your DESTINY.   I honestly don't know why our society frowns upon it so much.  I believe every one of us deserves the right to experience true happiness and we are ALL very much capable of having it.  The ones that do follow their heart are looked at like their "CRAZY" but I personally believe the ones that don't follow their heart are the "CRAZY' ones.

It takes a huge amount of COURAGE to take that first baby step towards the right direction.  You MUST have COURAGE to tune the world out when they try to knock you down.  You MUST have COURAGE to get back up and dust yourself off when you've hit a "LIFE WALL".  Our society is too judgmental, so most people are too afraid of what others will say when they "FALL ON THEIR FACE".... WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS SAY!! Are they paying your bills?   Are they raising your children?  Are they feeding you?

It takes a huge amount of FAITH once you get up enough COURAGE.  You must whole heartily believe in something (God, Karma, Life, ect.) that will give you all the confidence you need when others don't understand what you're chasing.  Stay strong in your FAITH, because this is what's going to carry you thru when you don't feel like you can go anymore.

A very simple, yet completely AAHHMAZING lunch with someone I haven't seen or spoken to in 10 years, made me realize just how many of my dots are connecting!  BELIEVE in YOURSELF!  TRUST your gut! You won't ever achieve complete happiness until you LOVE what you do.  You won't ever achieve complete happiness until you LOVE the people around you!  You won't EVER achieve complete happiness until you LOVE YOURSELF!  xoxo

QUIT BEING LAZY!!

Y'all know I love you!! Just a little tough love from ya girl!! xo

 

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One Night in Daytona....

I will NEVER forget the places where I took my first and my last drink.  At age 15 it was a warm embracing feeling BUT at age 33, it had turned into a depressing, ashamed feeling.  On and off for 18 years I allowed  ALCOHOL to dictate my mood, my emotions, my relationships, my EVERYTHING.  That's absolutely insane!  It's so crazy to me because my first and last drink were both liquor and I found out at early age me and liquor didn't mesh too well.  Tequila especially made me want to fight everyone in sight.  I steered clear of that mess for the longest and just stuck with beer. ( not that beer was any better ha) Beer was absolutely my #1 LOVE!! I LOVED IT AND IT LOVED ME BACK! Or so I thought until horrible things started happening to me like that one weekend in Daytona in 2010.

Me and my kiddo had gone to Daytona to her grandparents so she could spend time with them and I could meet up with some friends.  It was 4th of July and I was so excited about getting out of Mississippi.  I started drinking as soon as I got out the car it seemed like.  There's not a lot I remember about that weekend, but the things I do replayed in my head for the longest time.  How did I ever allow it to go this far?  One of my closest guy friends and I were hanging out joking around as always!  There was never a dull moment with us!  We were always acting silly and laughing at everything.  Still to this day I don't know exactly what was said or if I heard it the wrong way,  We both were drinking and I was at such a deep depression at this point but regardless it definitely didn't deserve the treatment I gave him.

Whatever was said, I didn't get upset until the next day.  We got up and met some more of our friends at the beach, drank all day AGAIN.   I mean we were having a BLAST.  At some point I blacked out, probably because we started drinking early that morning!  I don't even remember getting back to the house.  When I came to, all I could smell was ammonia.  I opened my eyes to flashing lights and an EMT over me with an ammonia stick to my nose.  I was drenched in blood.  Apparently I got mad at my friend for something he said the night before and started trying to whoop his butt.  Now he's a great deal bigger than me and I'm not sure if I would ever be able to take him (even now doing all of my BEACHBODY workouts haha) But I was instantly bullet proof when I was drinking.  He got fed up with me hitting him and out of instinct he swung and I hit the pavement.   I don't even know how many police, firetrucks, and ambulances were there, but it was quite an embarrassing.  I refused to go the hospital for fear of them throwing me in rehab or jail.  I thought my nose was broken and still to this day I have a knot on my head from hitting the pavement so hard.  The next morning after this incident, I woke up to Child Protective Services wanting to interview me.  I was so confused! That's the last thing I expected, I just wanted to lay in bed...I was in some serious pain.   Because we were in the state of FL and because my kiddo was in the house where I was staying ( she didn't see this happen thank the GOOD LORD ABOVE) they had to come check the situation out.

I was so completely ashamed of myself.  I allowed ALCOHOL to control me that much where the state HAD to take action, and not even the state I resided in at the time.  Thankfully that was the first and last interview.  I did eventually go to the hospital and get checked out.  Severely bruised up and a concussion luckily were the only damages done.  That was only one of many HORRIBLE experiences I've encountered during my marriage to ALCOHOL.  Back in MS I healed BUT it was so hard to look my daughter in the eyes for a while because of the shame I'd felt.  I know I let her down that weekend.  I can't imagine how she must have felt after seeing her mom that way.  After a couple years of not speaking to someone I had grown so close to, I decided to reach out and make amends!  Life is way too short to hold grudges or live in addiction.  I've made some serious amends this year to people, ESPECIALLY my daughter and my family.  I have asked forgiveness from the heavenly FATHER above and forgiven myself,   I wake up striving to be a better version of me than I was yesterday!  You aren't PROMISED TOMORROW so step out of your comfort zone and make a change today.  Life is so much sweeter on the HAPPY side of the bridge!

First Blog Post - Gotta Tell You Somethin'

Hey little babies ha ha =) Welcome to my blog, now I'm still getting used to all this technology stuff, but hey, we can learn and have fun together!

Check out my latest VIDEO, and don't forget to have a SUPER great day!

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Now go out there and make some strangers smile for me! =) 

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