The Rest of the Story!

4 TIMES IN CUFFS......
  
     1.  17 years old- Threw a party while my parents were out of town.  If they hadn't just warned me, I would've had 3-5 charges on me that night!
     
     2.  18 years old- Shoplifting at Wal-Mart, Post Arrested, I was banned from Wal-Mart for  one year, used all of my graduation money to pay fines, probation

     3.  29 years old- Domestic Violence- Spent Memorial weekend in jail, probation, anger  management classes

     4.  32 years old- Embezzlement-FELONY, pretrial diversion, restitution, community service


As you can see each time I got in trouble it was a little worse than the last time!  Had I not decided to make a change, chances are pretty good I'd be doing some serious jail time for my actions! But this is only a small portion of the things I experienced during my addiction!  I may just have to sit down and write a book one day!

I had absolutely no respect for anyone much less myself! I was a thief, a liar, and most of all such a disappointment to my family.  I was selfish in all the wrong ways! No one trusted me being around HAHA!! Could I blame them one bit?  I had no concern for anyone else's feelings or anyone else's stuff they worked so hard for!  When you have an affair with any kind of addiction, it honestly becomes your EVERYTHING!  It's like being married in a small town and cheating on your spouse! You think all your tracks are covered...., BUT EVERYONE IN TOWN KNOWS!!! Pure ignorance I mean GEEZ!

There's only ONE EXPLANATION as to why I'm where I'm at today!  GOD!  God rescued me! This time I listened because I was in desperation.  I lost everything I owned and worked so hard for! I lost much love and respect from so many! BUT THANK GOD I'M FREE AT LAST! He brought me to my Beachbody family that accepted me with open arms!  The workouts are AMAZING!  Shakeology is AMAZING!! But my transformation  what happened on the inside!

 People ask me all the time, WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?  I am so happy because I understand the true meaning of the word LOVE!  With all the Personal Development I do, I learned to LOVE myself again!  I learned my self worth!  I learned that I am deserving of so much happiness!! The reason I am so positive is because I came from such a dark side of the bridge and finally found my way across to the happy side and I will NEVER apologize for my "OVER THE TOP" personality!  I believe with my whole heart and soul that IF I CAN DO THIS, SO CAN YOU!!! This is the reason I make my motivation videos!!  I want to give you HOPE that's it's possible!! I could not have done this alone!  I give so much credit to the few family and friends that had a wee bit of faith in me,  my Beachbody family, that saw something in me when I couldn't see it in myself, and my heavenly FATHER above!

Feeling worthless and ashamed are common feelings when you're having an affair with ADDICTION, trust me I know!  I would love nothing more than to be your personal CHEERLEADER!! Everyone needs SOMEONE Cheering for them!

Everything Is Gona Be Ok!

Do you think it's a coincident that a complete stranger opened my eyes to a simple, yet complex word?  A word that's so misused and misunderstood.... LOVE!!

I don't at all believe in coincidences.  I believe God puts specific people in your life for a specific reason.  In the short 28 days of this new year, I've met some pretty amazing people, but this one in particular just touched my soul.  :)

Over the last few months, I've had to really work hard at LOVING myself again for all the things I've done and the people that I've hurt.  Some days it wasn't an easy task, but I had to keep reassuring myself everyday that I AM WORTH IT!  Forgiving yourself is sometimes the hardest thing we face as humans in my opinion.  Once you finally do, though, it's the most FREEING feeling ever! But what good does LOVING MYSELF again do if I'm not spreading it around every place I go?

My life theme is "Make a Stranger Smile"!  I live by it and apply it every where I go, but do people really feel the genuine LOVE that's in my heart by my smile?  People do smile back at me, BUT  I know that behind some of those smiles is a world of hurt.  I know behind some of those smiles there's a world of shame.  I know behind some of those smiles there's a world of fear.  How do I know?  I've been there!

When I go out into the world today,  I ask GOD to allow me to show people true LOVE.  Even though it's very uncomfortable at first to go up to a complete stranger and try to make their day better when you have no idea what's going on in their life!  Sometimes all people need is a simple gesture of a hand shake or a hug and tell them everything's going to be ok! This is something very new to me, but I have high hopes that offering COMPLETE TRUE LOVE to STRANGERS will get easier!

This is the lesson I learned from a complete stranger!! And now no matter what I MUST pay it forward! 

I used to be a LOSER!

It's true!! I used to be a LOSER! Even though something deep down inside of me kept telling me I was something special, I allowed for SO LONG people's opinions of me become my reality! Once I got SOBER and put the right people in my life, I started believing in myself again!  Do you know how AMAZING that feels to wake up BELIEVING you have a chance again?  Do you know how AMAZING it feels to wake up having others BELIEVE in you again?  It's the most empowering experience ever!

When I signed up as a Beachbody Coach I had no freakin clue how I was going to get ANYONE AT ALL to believe anything I said.  Over the years I burned so many bridges and pretty much completely ran my life into the ground.  Even though I felt so much better inside and out, something deep down inside me just felt like I wasn't good enough for this.... People are going to think... WAIT!! STOP!! RIGHT NOW AMANDA!!.... Didn't you just say you listened to people's opinions for so long and just where did that get you??  This is the exact conversation I had with myself.  ( I talk to myself A LOT these days )

Instead of putting thought into what people are going to think, I made the decision to be MYSELF and admit my failures.  This definitely was not easy at first.... and still isn't some days.  But I do it anyways.  I tune the world out and follow my heart!  I put my STORY out there in hopes to inspire someone along the way to make the necessary changes in their own life to find their happiness!  If you have a burning fire inside you like I do, I encourage you to take that leap of faith and do your part to inspire others.  Become a Coach and let's change the world together! 

Thanks to so many great LEADERS in Beachbody that inspire me to keep going, I still have the COURAGE to wake up every single day and talk to strangers about changing their lives.  Most people think I'm crazy and that's quite ok!  I know I have left a stain on their mind that they can't wash away!  Being a Coach to me is showing people there is a way across the bridge of darkness to happiness!  And the beauty of it is, that applies to so many different aspects of LIFE!  TODAY I'm NOT A LOSER! TODAY I'M A WINNER!  And I want you to be a WINNER TOO!  

WOW JUST WOW!!

I read this question somewhere today... A year ago, did you think you'd be where you are now?  Absolutely NOT!!  My daughter didn't want to live with me, I had lost another job, I totaled my car, got evicted, my dog died all in a few weeks time.  Sounds like a dead gum country song! HAHA!  I was spiraling down further in my addiction.  Seriously people told me all the time how worthless I was.  "You won't ever amount to anything, Amanda."

Today... WOW TODAY!  I can barely even get my thoughts out because I'm so overwhelmed with all these amazing emotions running thru my soul.  I have been reaching out to Recovery Centers in the Tampa Bay Area to volunteer my time!  Today I met with the director of this one in particular that just happens to be one mile from my house!  I walk in not really knowing what to expect.  I know that I want to volunteer fitness workouts, because to me FITNESS IS A MUST IN RECOVERY!
Do you know this facility wants ME to help them lead RECOVERY CLASSES??? OOOMMMYYYGGGOOOOSSSSHHH!!! I am so very Honored!! I'm excited, and I'm nervous, and I'm scared, and I'm HAPPY all at the same time!! HAHA!!! I'm not experienced in Leading Recovery Classes, I'm not experienced in talking in front of people, BUT I am so very passionate about helping others cross that same bridge that I crossed! I have no idea what words will come out of my mouth my first time in front of people... BUT I KNOW THAT GOD HAS LEAD ME HERE AND HE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS I CAN DO THIS!!

One year ago....No one believed in me, I didn't believe in myself and there's no way I would've believed ANYONE that told me this would be my life now.  The moment you LET GO AND LET GOD he leads to your true destiny.  All the adversity I faced was for a specific reason so I can give a glimmer of HOPE back to someone that needs it! When you believe in YOURSELF and have THE ALMIGHTY GOD on your side, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!  Don't give up on yourself because YOU ARE WORTH IT! If I can do it SO CAN YOU!! xo

Get Over your FEARS!

IF NOT NOW...WHEN? I want you to SERIOUSLY ask yourself this question! What exactly are you so afraid of? Well get over it!! It's TIME TO FACE YOUR FEARS HEAD ON!  We as humans create our own fears inside our own mind.  The moment you start doubting yourself is the moment YOU get in YOUR OWN WAY!  

Getting SOBER, Getting HEALTHY, Chasing DREAMS aren't getting done because you stop yourself.  You allow negative thoughts to control your outcome.  You are scared to fail.  You are worried about what everyone else thinks.  This is the day to TUNE THE WORLD OUT!  THIS IS THE DAY TO START TAKING CARE OF YOU!  

Did you know that failing at things makes you stronger?   Did you know that if you're failing you're actually trying?  If you keep getting back up and trying eventually you are going to SUCCEED!  Today is the day to QUIT WISHING YOUR LIFE WAS BETTER.  Today is the day to TAKE ACTION! You aren't promised TOMORROW!!  

GOD created us all with GREATNESS!  He didn't intend for us to abuse our bodies in ANY way.  With GOD on your side, when YOU BELIEVE in YOURSELF, and when you surround yourself with PEOPLE THAT UPLIFT YOU on a daily basis....lil babies ANYTHING is POSSIBLE!  If I can do it, SO CAN YOU!  Together we can do this!!

 

19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 

20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Beer...It's what WAS for Supper!

Back in my drinking days, I remember watching the clock just waiting for 5 o'clock so I could go by the store and grab some beer.  The feeling that overcame me is so hard to put into words, but I think it could be best described as a NORMAL woman going on a first date.  I was so excited, yet so anxious, my palms would sweat and my mouth would water.  CRAZY, I know!  I never got like this over men haha, just beer!! Who am I kidding beer was my MAN!! I COULD NOT wait to get my man home.  The first pop of that top was as if my man just whispered sweet nothings in my ear!  AAHHHHH I was floating on CLOUD 9!

While the kiddo was doing homework or playing with the neighbors, me and my man would have quality time outside for about an hour! This time right here is what I woke up for and worked so hard for EVERY SINGLE DAY!  I didn't do well with interruptions, just HAD to have that time to ourselves.  Once our short hour or so was up, I would get up and start cooking supper for me and the kiddo.  Although I love cooking, I hated the fact I ALWAYS had to do the cooking myself.  Sometimes I wanted a real man that could actually help me with some of the household chores, BUT that was only sometimes haha.  

Once I got supper cooked, I would make the kiddo a plate!  I myself would want more time with my beer man, so I would leave her to eating supper by herself and go back outside for more quality time.  She would always ask me, "Are you gona eat mom?"  The answer was the same almost every night, "I'm going to in a little bit!" And by the way, I'm a pretty amazing cook if I do say so myself,  I would take a bite here and there but rarely actually sat down to eat a nice supper with my daughter.  Before I knew it, the time had flown and it was her bed time and pushing my bedtime as well.  Bedtime was a LOVE/HATE thing, cause I didn't want to leave my main squeeze, but I knew I would see him the next day, same exact time, and same exact situation all over again!

Looking back now, I'm not even sure how my body kept going with the lack of nutrients.  I lived on beer!  I did eat normal food during the day, but my goodness, I rarely got any decent food down me during the evening dates with BEER.  Although, I rarely woke up with a hangover, I never woke up feeling refreshed. EVER.  How ignorant I was to think I could live my life like that.  

I am happy to say that I broke up with that "SO CALLED MAN"!  BEER is no longer in my life.  I have now traded him for SHAKEOLOGY and other nutritional meals. I don't replace my suppers for anything anymore because I've learned how to take care of my body,  I can't go back and get those suppers with my daughter I missed, but I can make sure I don't miss anymore because of a temporary "GOOD" feeling.  That "GOOD" feeling I thought I had with my "SO" CALLED MAN"  doesn't hold a candle to the COMPLETENESS I feel now!  My kiddo and I spend more than just suppers together and it's the MOST AMAZING FEELING EVER!!

 It's NEVER too late for you to experience that feeling!  It would be my pleasure to help YOU get on the right nutritional track! 

FAITH...LOVE...BELIEVE

When you start seeing the DOTS of LIFE connecting after traveling down a deep, dark, well worn path, man oh man, the feeling inside is very powerful and indescribable.  Following your heart is something so many people are too fearful to do, but is so very NECESSARY to do to completely fulfill your DESTINY.   I honestly don't know why our society frowns upon it so much.  I believe every one of us deserves the right to experience true happiness and we are ALL very much capable of having it.  The ones that do follow their heart are looked at like their "CRAZY" but I personally believe the ones that don't follow their heart are the "CRAZY' ones.

It takes a huge amount of COURAGE to take that first baby step towards the right direction.  You MUST have COURAGE to tune the world out when they try to knock you down.  You MUST have COURAGE to get back up and dust yourself off when you've hit a "LIFE WALL".  Our society is too judgmental, so most people are too afraid of what others will say when they "FALL ON THEIR FACE".... WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS SAY!! Are they paying your bills?   Are they raising your children?  Are they feeding you?

It takes a huge amount of FAITH once you get up enough COURAGE.  You must whole heartily believe in something (God, Karma, Life, ect.) that will give you all the confidence you need when others don't understand what you're chasing.  Stay strong in your FAITH, because this is what's going to carry you thru when you don't feel like you can go anymore.

A very simple, yet completely AAHHMAZING lunch with someone I haven't seen or spoken to in 10 years, made me realize just how many of my dots are connecting!  BELIEVE in YOURSELF!  TRUST your gut! You won't ever achieve complete happiness until you LOVE what you do.  You won't ever achieve complete happiness until you LOVE the people around you!  You won't EVER achieve complete happiness until you LOVE YOURSELF!  xoxo

QUIT BEING LAZY!!

Y'all know I love you!! Just a little tough love from ya girl!! xo

 

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One Night in Daytona....

I will NEVER forget the places where I took my first and my last drink.  At age 15 it was a warm embracing feeling BUT at age 33, it had turned into a depressing, ashamed feeling.  On and off for 18 years I allowed  ALCOHOL to dictate my mood, my emotions, my relationships, my EVERYTHING.  That's absolutely insane!  It's so crazy to me because my first and last drink were both liquor and I found out at early age me and liquor didn't mesh too well.  Tequila especially made me want to fight everyone in sight.  I steered clear of that mess for the longest and just stuck with beer. ( not that beer was any better ha) Beer was absolutely my #1 LOVE!! I LOVED IT AND IT LOVED ME BACK! Or so I thought until horrible things started happening to me like that one weekend in Daytona in 2010.

Me and my kiddo had gone to Daytona to her grandparents so she could spend time with them and I could meet up with some friends.  It was 4th of July and I was so excited about getting out of Mississippi.  I started drinking as soon as I got out the car it seemed like.  There's not a lot I remember about that weekend, but the things I do replayed in my head for the longest time.  How did I ever allow it to go this far?  One of my closest guy friends and I were hanging out joking around as always!  There was never a dull moment with us!  We were always acting silly and laughing at everything.  Still to this day I don't know exactly what was said or if I heard it the wrong way,  We both were drinking and I was at such a deep depression at this point but regardless it definitely didn't deserve the treatment I gave him.

Whatever was said, I didn't get upset until the next day.  We got up and met some more of our friends at the beach, drank all day AGAIN.   I mean we were having a BLAST.  At some point I blacked out, probably because we started drinking early that morning!  I don't even remember getting back to the house.  When I came to, all I could smell was ammonia.  I opened my eyes to flashing lights and an EMT over me with an ammonia stick to my nose.  I was drenched in blood.  Apparently I got mad at my friend for something he said the night before and started trying to whoop his butt.  Now he's a great deal bigger than me and I'm not sure if I would ever be able to take him (even now doing all of my BEACHBODY workouts haha) But I was instantly bullet proof when I was drinking.  He got fed up with me hitting him and out of instinct he swung and I hit the pavement.   I don't even know how many police, firetrucks, and ambulances were there, but it was quite an embarrassing.  I refused to go the hospital for fear of them throwing me in rehab or jail.  I thought my nose was broken and still to this day I have a knot on my head from hitting the pavement so hard.  The next morning after this incident, I woke up to Child Protective Services wanting to interview me.  I was so confused! That's the last thing I expected, I just wanted to lay in bed...I was in some serious pain.   Because we were in the state of FL and because my kiddo was in the house where I was staying ( she didn't see this happen thank the GOOD LORD ABOVE) they had to come check the situation out.

I was so completely ashamed of myself.  I allowed ALCOHOL to control me that much where the state HAD to take action, and not even the state I resided in at the time.  Thankfully that was the first and last interview.  I did eventually go to the hospital and get checked out.  Severely bruised up and a concussion luckily were the only damages done.  That was only one of many HORRIBLE experiences I've encountered during my marriage to ALCOHOL.  Back in MS I healed BUT it was so hard to look my daughter in the eyes for a while because of the shame I'd felt.  I know I let her down that weekend.  I can't imagine how she must have felt after seeing her mom that way.  After a couple years of not speaking to someone I had grown so close to, I decided to reach out and make amends!  Life is way too short to hold grudges or live in addiction.  I've made some serious amends this year to people, ESPECIALLY my daughter and my family.  I have asked forgiveness from the heavenly FATHER above and forgiven myself,   I wake up striving to be a better version of me than I was yesterday!  You aren't PROMISED TOMORROW so step out of your comfort zone and make a change today.  Life is so much sweeter on the HAPPY side of the bridge!

Beachbody Saved Me!

FINALLY!!! Finally, I found something that believes in me as much as I believe in it….BEACHBODY!!  For many years I was in love with beer, because I felt it was the only thing that loved me back.  Beer was most definitely my drug of choice, but that wasn't the extent by any means.  See for a long time I didn't feel like I was loved.  I never seemed sufficient enough in my mom’s eyes and my dad was always working and never had time to hang out.  When I drank a warm cozy feeling overcame me, something I'd never experienced before, like a big embracing hug I'd never gotten.  Once I started I didn’t want to quit because I didn’t want to lose that feeling.

Throughout the years, the more I tried to get people to love and accept me, the more I felt rejected.  I’ve dealt with a man telling me he didn’t want anything to do with our child, abusive relationships, being ARRESTED on numerous occasions, and even going to REHAB!  I finally was ready to give up.  Why should I care if I live to see another day if no one else did?  I LOST EVERYTHING I worked so hard for because of my addiction.  How could something that made me feel so loved at one time do this to me?  How did I get to this place?  I felt as if everyone was judging me and pointing fingers at me instead of helping me get better.  No one cared WHY I was at this place in my life, they just considered me a dead beat, no good for nothing waste of space.

Since no one else was going to help me I HAD to help myself.  There’s many times I should’ve died, but GOD said nope I’m not done with you, in fact I’m just getting started with you.  I had no idea what was about to happen when I packed up and moved to FLORIDA again, but I knew I HAD to make a better life for my daughter and I.  Shortly after I moved down, I was searching for something I could get involved with that’s healthy for me.  I had no idea what, because I completely lost myself.  I didn’t even know what I liked to do anymore.  I PRAYED and PRAYED for God to lead me in the right direction. AND HE DID!!!

I found my BEACHBODY coach online.  I had no idea what all this was about or what I was about to get myself into, but I knew that it HAD to be better than my old life.  He invited me to 813FitClub located in Tampa, FL.  Here is where I fell in love with BEACHBODY and all it has to offer.  We do a different BEACHBODY program every week and I haven’t missed one week since I started going in July!  Not only do I absolutely love the workouts and SHAKEOLOGY, but for me it’s the family that I’ve grown to love so much!  For the first time in my life, I feel ACCEPTED and LOVED! It’s the MOST AMAZING feeling in the world to feel 100% unjudged.  My journey isn’t as much physical for me as it is internal. The person I’ve become and still am becoming on a daily basis is truly a blessing from God.  He lead me to my BEACHBODY family to save me.  I am a firm believer now in surrounding yourself with the right group of people that want nothing but the best for you!  If you are looking for that please do yourself a favor and at least give BEACHBODY a chance.  I would be honored to introduce you to my FAMILY and help you thru the hard times this world can bring us!  Just know there is HOPE…. If I can do it SO CAN YOU!! J

 

My FIRST Elite Obstacle Course Race: Battlefrog Miami 11.21.15

As I walked up to the start line in Miami my nerves were kicked up a notch!  In the weeks prior to this day I trained super hard with P90X3, just one of the many AMAZING Beachbody programs!  I knew my body was in the best possible shape I could get it ( I've only been working out since August 2015).  Once all the ladies lined up on the start line, a deep voiced man opened his mouth with nothing but encouragement and motivation to prepare us all for the journey ahead.  As he is speaking, I close my eyes and let his words pierce deep in my soul and allow my 'WHY' to be framed in my vision. His count down was in slow motion for me and we were off!  As a recently quit smoker, I know running is most definitely one of my biggest weaknesses but that didn't stop me from giving my ALL.  I successfully completed the swims, climbing the walls and the rope climbs.  Once I reached the MONKEY BARS, my heart started beating super fast.  Even though I've practiced them over and over and over,  I'm terrified of the DEAD GUM monkey bars! My first try I make it all the way to the middle and freak myself out ( it doesn't help at all the dead gum bars are rotating every time I grab them) I FALL TO THE GROUND!!! I dusted myself off, sat there for a few minutes, regained my confidence and got back up there!  This time I didn't stop!! Made it thru!! WHEW!!! Smiling big, I continued on thru a few more obstacles that are fairly easy for me!  Then here comes that TIP OF THE SPEAR...( I tried this one at the Battlefrog Atlanta two weeks prior and couldn't complete it without help from my Coach ) But I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment, and framed my 'WHY' in my vision. Next thing I know I'm ringing the bell at the end.  I DID IT!! I DID IT!! I was so dead gum happy!! I don't really remember the next couple of obstacles because I was still in shock I completed now TWO obstacles I was scared of!  BUT then I'm standing face to face with the Platinum Rig... (I personally witnessed some of the most amazing athletes get stuck at this one) so of course me being a ROOKIE, immediately got super nervous!  I could now hear that deep voiced man again giving other racers that same motivating speak and it gave me the fuel I needed to try my best.  BUT after several attempts and a couple hours later, my arms wouldn't cooperate anymore!  I gave that thang my all and made it 3/4 of the way thru.  I was getting so upset with myself but, now looking back, I ran further that day than ever before.. I successfully completed two obstacles I was terrified of... and FINALLY crossed that finish line. No I didn't place, but in my mind I was a winner that day because I performed to the BEST of my ability..  Thanks to Beachbody HYDRATE I stayed well hydrated throughout the day and oh my goodness if it wasn't for the Beachbody RECOVERY afterwards, I probably would still be hurting today.  Battlefrog is a MUST for anyone wanting to push themselves to their limit!!